She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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