Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
