Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
