what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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