is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize