dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Someone shattered a urinal.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
