I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Randomize
