there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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