I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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