Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Randomize
