remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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