C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Randomize
