dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
