Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
