Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
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