forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
there's paper in my vomit.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
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