Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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