this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Randomize
