i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
