For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
