Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
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