yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
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