nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Randomize
