drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Randomize
