Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
