I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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