I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize