the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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