We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
My ATM looks so different sober.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
