Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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