i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
