Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
