Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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