This girl is more easily done than said...
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
