U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
