Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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