Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Operation Purity has been aborted
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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