I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize