Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
