just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize