i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
