The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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