You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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