Umm I'm too high to move.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Sober January is a disaster.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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