they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I'm at about main and main street
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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