Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
wat bout pragnant strippers??
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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