She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
