Did you just see the Batmobile???
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
