she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
