booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
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