i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I think I sprained my soul last night
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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