you mean i was at the winter classic?
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
