nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
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