If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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