I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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