Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Randomize
