I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Dick very happy bro
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
