My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
