At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Come see our sink grown plant.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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