Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize