You can't special order awesome
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
