just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Randomize
