I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize