You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
