I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
