omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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