Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
