I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
We are two peas in an std pod
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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