Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
