OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
