I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
