I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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