i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
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