I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
I love you.
Bad choice
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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