im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
