You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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